Why Gratitude?

Joy in life comes not from what you have, what happens to you or how you are treated. It comes from appreciating what you have- having gratitude for it. Would you want to give a gift to a child who never likes what you give them? After a while, you would stop trying to delight them, then you would not care if the gift was on time, or wrapped, or even nice. You might want to give them something nasty just out of spite. Expecting the universe, or God, to give you good gifts if you are not grateful for the gifts you have, is behaving like the ungrateful child.

Gratitude is the Opposite of Entitlement

Few of us would want to think of ourselves as behaving entitled (as if the universe owes us), but lack of gratitude comes from a sense of entitlement. Frankly, no one deserves anything. Everything we get is a gift. Those of us who are lucky enough to be born in America need to realize that we didn’t engineer the circumstances of our birth. Whether born wealthy or not, we are lucky just to be born here. Think how many people sacrifice everything just to come to this country.

Why are the Poorest Often the Most Joy Filled?

It has been my observation over the years that one often finds the greatest joy in the poorest parts of the world. In those places, the people know that all good things are gifts and take joy in them. They appreciate things we so easily take for granted like clean water, food, a roof over our heads where we can sleep knowing we wont be attacked in the night. We can go to school or work and usually be safe getting there and getting home. We have choices. When was the last time you were grateful for the ability to make a bad choice, rather than kicking yourself that you chose wrong?

You Get What You Focus On

Have you ever noticed how a new word pops up everywhere after you learn it? I went through a training a few years ago that asked me to look for Sunset Beige cars. I didn’t even know what Sunset Beige was. Had to look it up on the internet. The instructor was correct- suddenly Sunset Beige cars were everywhere. Surprisingly, my son and I still laugh together when we see one-after 4 years!

If you focus on the blessings, love and joy in your life, you will get more blessings, love and joy. Conversely focusing on lack, slights and sorrow will bring you more of those. I sat down once to write a list of the things for which I was thankful, thinking I might come up with a few, and several pages full of columns of people and blessings later, I realized how much I really did have to be thankful for.

There is Always a Reason to Have Gratitude

If you start with gratitude for any day you are alive, then you have something to be grateful for every day.

Regardless of what happens to us in life, we can choose what we focus on. We can focus on the kick in the pants, or consider it a great excuse to get new pants. I don’t want to sound like its always easy, but it is doable.

We love movies and books about people who rise above horrible circumstances to live a full life. Its inspiring not because it’s easy, but because they did it. None of us wants to watch a movie about someone who gives in to depression, alcohol or drugs. Yet for all of us, we are dealing with the option to give in or rise above all the time. It’s just less obvious. Most survivors say they started by focusing on what they did have, rather than their loss. Focus on what’s in the glass, not what isn’t.

Creating a Habit of Gratitude

I’ll be honest. I struggled with the semantics of the word gratitude. In the beginning of my quest to be more grateful, I found it easier to think in terms of what I appreciated. I appreciated a beautiful sunset. I could appreciate a pain-free day. Once I had eased in to the idea of appreciating things, it was easy to become grateful for those same things.

Start the day with 3 things about the day for which you know you are or will be grateful.

It could be that you are able to be educated, or have a job or chose what you want to do with your life. Perhaps you are grateful for the opportunity to make a presentation or meet with a new potential client, or work with someone you admire. Maybe it’s just that you can try out new ways to get along with a difficult coworker or do a favor for someone who needs it. What are you looking forward to that is happening today? You are probably grateful for something about it if you are looking forward to it. You can be grateful that you are thinking about gratitude in a new way.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself 3 things for which you are grateful today.

End the day with 3 things about the day for which you are grateful.

Sometimes we are so focused on getting a certain thing that we don’t see the gifts we DO get. However, if we are focused on the gifts we receive, we will see them all. What happened today that surprised you? What was better than expected? See any Sunset Beige cars?

So what were the gifts you received today?

Make a habit o starting and ending your day in gratitude. If you know you will have to have 3 by the end of the day, you will be looking for things about which to feel grateful. Pretty soon you will find gratitude everywhere and throughout your day. Like Sunset Beige cars.

Today, right now, I am grateful for you reading this. Go out and find and create joy!