Self Care

Loving yourself isn’t about being self-absorbed, but about caring for yourself in the ways you wish to be treated. The way you care for yourself indicates to others how you perceive your own value and worth. You teach people how to treat you when you love yourself: that you are worthy of respect and care and love.   You know yourself better than anyone else does, and if you don’t care for yourself and treat yourself with respect, why should anyone else? Start by realizing your own value and treat yourself the way you wish to be treated.

The Basics of Loving Yourself:

Treat yourself with the love and care you would give the person you love most in life. Love your self. Care for your self.

Speak to your self with kindness. You know what I mean. Listen to the thoughts that are going through your head- hundreds per hour. Are they affirming, encouraging, supportive and loving? If not, it’s time to start speaking with kindness and respect to yourself.

You are taking the initiative to learn and do something someone else has done for you and you will now do for yourself – self care. Good for you! Self care takes practice so give yourself some grace.

Abraham Maslow, in A Theory of Human Motivation, defined the needs of humans in a pyramid. He stated that each level needed to be taken care of for the next higher one to be.  For example, if one is deprived of food and water, they are not worrying about becoming their best self. So, taking care of your basic needs of food and water and organizing your shelter (home-care) and security (you and money), you can move on to improving relationships with friends and family, developing self-esteem and finally becoming the best and most complete you possible.

As great as you are, you are not Superman or Wonder Woman. There are limitations to what you can do. You probably can do and be much more than you think, but the wise person knows his limitations. In this case I am referring to the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day, and some of that needs to be spent in sleep, self-care, and life maintenance. These are the 3 areas for which young people (and workaholics) especially don’t allow enough time.

More on recognizing and working with limitations next time.

“A man’s got to know his limitations.” – Dirty Harry

Saying you don’t have the time is lame. You have the same number of hours in a day and week as everyone else. There are two things that do make a difference in how you deal with time:

Energy:

We don’t all have the same metabolism. Some people have tons of energy and go-go-go all the time and need very little sleep. Other people have the energy of molasses in January and need tons of sleep. Lack of energy can be a limitation and can make a difference. I never felt I really had an excuse not to get things done. My 90 year old grandfather put in a new kitchen floor a few months before he died (sheet vinyl- not tiles) and he was only able to be up 2-3 hours a day. So there are ways to plan your time and activities to get a lot done.

Organization:

They say that if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. (Depending on your source, this is attributed to Benjamin Franklin, Elbert Hubbard or Lucille Ball). The reason for this is a simple rule:

If you know all the things you have to do and have limited time, you will tend to be working on something all the time.
If you have few things and much time, you may procrastinate and then not get any of it done.

LifeSkill Secret if you feel overwhelmed by all you have to do:

1. Get the to-do list out of your head and onto paper.

   Everything in your head has equal weight, or disproportionate weight for its importance. Once you get in on paper, you can decide what’s most important and what has deadlines. Get the tasks on the calendar to be sure they get done. Once they are out of your head and onto your calendar, you don’t need to worry about them. If you have a list of the things you plan to accomplish each day and read it over before and midway through the day, you are programming your mind to find ways to get those things done. Also, you may find you get little important tasks done in between bigger tasks, like calls made in between meetings.

2. The five minute rule:

   Most tasks can be done in 5 minutes, or broken down into 5 minute chunks. Just because you don’t have time to do an entire task, doesn’t mean you can’t work on it or make progress on it. This way, those little chunks of time can be useful and help you feel like you are making progress.And little tasks seem much less daunting. Sometimes its just getting started on the task that is the roadblock, but if you have a small task to do, and you know you can knock it right off, you get started. Then you may be motivated to move on.

3. Hard work is an accumulation of little things you didn’t do when you needed to

   (a modern variation of ‘a stitch in time saves nine’). A lot of 5 minute or under tasks can prevent those big, nasty jobs we all hate. Examples:

   • Wiping down the moisture from the shower stall after a shower takes less than 2 minutes but can save big time scrubbing the walls later.
   • When talking on the phone, clean out a kitchen drawer or pick up your desk.
   • When putting away your laundry, discard clothes that are worn out.
   • Every time you buy one new thing, get rid of at least one old thing (prevents needing to clean out closets and drawers)
   • Before putting away groceries, check for and discard old food in the fridge or out of date food in the cabinet.
   • Soaking a stain or using a stain remover BEFORE the stain has time to set may save whatever you have stained.
   • Once a week, before you put in clean towels, clean the bathroom.
   • Once a week, check all the things you use regularly in the bath and refill what needs refilling.
   • Put items on the shopping list that need to be replenished.
   • If you notice you are low of any groceries, laundry, cleaning or grooming supplies, put them on the list.
   • Only shop once every week at most. Take your list, stick to your list, and don’t go when you are hungry.

4. The 15 for 15 exercise.

   Each morning (if possible) or evening if not, quietly sit for 15 minutes and ask the universe (God) for direction on what to do today to get closer to your dreams. Write down the first 15 things that come to you. Prioritize by what you feel the most energy about and put on your calendar. You may only get a few, or even one of the things done, but it will be the most important thing to get you closer to your dreams. Having the list keeps you focused and on-task. Sometimes those little things can just get squeezed in between bigger tasks because you remember to do them.

Limitations are only that if you don’t know what they are and how to work with and around them. Once limitations are identified, you can plan to make the best use of your time, money, energy and skills.

Let MOM know through comments and likes if you found these ideas helpful.