Life Management is about how you manage your relationship with the Universe, Time, Money, Others, and Work. None of these do you ever really control. You have control of yourself, but not the stuff the Universe will throw at you. Your footing needs to be centered around who you are as a person and how your move through your life, not the whimsy of your circumstances. You have the same number of hours as everyone else does in a day. You, like everyone else, have a limited amount of money and like most, have more that you want you buy or have than money to buy it. Others are funny about wanting things their own way and most of your life will be in community. And you will spend more time at work than doing just about anything, so it would be good to have a good relationship with it. MOM is here to help with your Life Management!
Social Sharing
This post on social sharing was suggested by a Dad, who had real concerns about the sharing his daughters did on social media.
Social Sharing isn’t just with your friends
People who aren’t your friends are on the internet.
Friends of friends
People (who may not be someone you want to know all about you) can also see what your friends see on their screens.
Predators can see everything about you too
No information on the web is really private. The web is the new lurking playground for predators. Don’t make it easy for them.
- Do you talk about where you live and work and who your friends are?
- Predators can use that information to stalk and hurt you.
- They can use information on your social sharing account to make you think you know each other.
- Thieves will burglarize your home while you are tweeting and messaging about the great restaurant you are in or talking about the fun vacation you are on.
Your family
Do you really want Aunt Millie to know you did THAT?
How will your Dad feel about the beer pong game that went on for 6 hours?
Isn’t your Mom already too much in your business?
Does your new boyfriend really need to see the last 6 guys you’ve dated?
Bosses and Schools (current and future) WILL check your social media
Get real. Bosses and schools regularly look into your social sharing accounts to get to know you better. Does your social profile paint a picture of someone that your desired school or employer would want?
Safety tips for Social Sharing
- Be sure your settings are set to share all information with friends ONLY.
- Think before you post (regardless of your settings): Is this safe for everyone to see? Would I walk around telling everyone this information?
- Never share about upcoming travel or evenings out.
- Share about vacations and time away from your home AFTER THE EVENT
- In case of doubt: DON’T SHARE ONLINE- share in person. It’s better social sharing anyway.
Social sharing is a great way to stay in touch with friends and family when used wisely. Be safe.
Basic Kitchen Safety Tips
Kitchen safety makes cooking much easier and more enjoyable. It’s no fun if people get hurt while you are creating culinary delights. The best place to start with kitchen safety is with a few really good basic kitchen safety tips:
Knives
- Need be sharp
- Put away in a safe place when not in use
- Hand wash and use extra care when washing
- Do not put in a sink of water
- Wash with warm soapy water, sharp edge away from you
- Dry and put away (flat) immediately after use
- Always cut away from your body when using a knife, peeler, scissors or any sharp object.
- Don’t try to catch knives or other sharp objects if they fall- just get out of the way
Use the right tool for the job
- Know what the right tool for the job is
- Learn how to use it (read the instructions and follow them)
Small Appliances
- Check that electrical cords and appliances are in good repair
- Be sure they are not where they could get wet, tangled or pulled by children
- No extension cords in the kitchen
- Do not stick metal objects (like forks) into toasters, mixing bowls, food processors. If you must retrieve food or clean the sides of a bowl, unplug the appliance first and use a non-metal object.
General Kitchen Safety
- Keep small children and pets out of the kitchen when using heat or sharp objects
- Clear of toys and other stuff
- Clean up all spills immediately, especially on the floor where they present a real hazard
- Wear clothing that is not flowing and shoes that are sturdy
Cooking care
- Never leave pots cooking food unattended
- Always point pot and pan handles on the stove toward the center of the stovetop
- Make it a habit to use hot pads
Use extra care with HOT OIL
- Use care when adding anything to hot oil, especially anything that has liquid or ice on it
- add things to hot oil with tongs or slotted spoon
- Add foods slowly
- Lift the lid facing away from you and allow the steam to vent and the oil to cool before totally removing the lid – especially if the oil is spattering
Use extra care with STEAM
- Steam burns as fast or faster than hot oil
- Lift the lid (or open the micro bag) facing away from you and allow the steam to vent before totally removing or opening
FIRE:
- Extinguish oil or electrical fires with a pot cover, baking soda or salt– NEVER water
- Keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen and know how to use it
- If you catch fire: STOP, DROP and ROLL to smother out the fire
- If you can’t get it out fast, leave the house and call the fire department
Cleaning supplies and Medications
- Keep cleaning supplies and medications in safe places, with safety latches if you have children or pets.
BROKEN GLASS
- Clean up broken glass immediately
- First, Lift all large pieces using a paper towel and put into a paper bag (glass penetrates plastic bags easily)
- Sweep using a broom and dustpan with long strokes- put the sweepings into the paper bag
- Go over the floor carefully with a damp paper towel or rag that you can throw away. Throw rag or towels into the paper bag.
- Close the bag and fold over the top a few times before putting into trash bag.
Keep a first aid kit in the kitchen!
- Check it once a year to be sure everything you may need is in there and not expired.
Have the local Poison Control Number handy.
Kitchen Safety is about creating good habits. These may take a while to get used to, but they will soon become second nature. Happy Cooking!
Planning to Get Things Done
None of us feel we have enough time, but we all have the same number of hours as everyone else. Planning to get things done is about knowing what we want to accomplish and how long things take to do. Time management is a misnomer. You can’t really manage time, only how you handle it. Hopefully, some of these tips will help you use it more successfully.
Action Steps – Making BIG Tasks Smaller
OK, from the last post you have a calendar, but that only includes the big rocks. What if you have a project that can’t fit into one time slot- for example a research paper to write, or a large project you want to accomplish. How do you get that into your calendar? Here are some steps to get things done that are too big for one time slot.
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Break your project into action steps
What do you have to do to get it done? Don’t worry if they are in order
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Put the steps in the order they have to be accomplished
What has to be done before the next part can be started
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Guesstimate how long each step will take
This may need to be adjusted if you find out things take longer than you think, but remember, you are the boss of yourself so be as tough as you need to be, but give yourself some grace too.
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Take into consideration the 5 Minute Rule and Margin (below)
Adjust your steps, order and time allowances if necessary.
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Put all of these steps onto a calendar
Allow the time each will need and in the order in which they need to be accomplished.
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If the steps need to be done in a given order, remember to keep them in that order
You may want to put an order number on each step so you don’t get the cart before the horse.
The 5 Minute Rule
I mentioned this in another post, but one of the neatest things to discover is the 5 Minute Rule: many tasks take less than 5 minutes to complete and most larger tasks can be broken down into 5 minute pieces. Even if some bits take longer, you can get things done by doing the little pieces without a lot of effort. In 5 minutes or less you can:
- spray and wipe down the counters in the bathroom
- spray and wipe down the counters in the kitchen
- empty the dish drainer or dishwasher
- dust the living room (or bedroom, or family room)
- Declutter or straighten a room (OK maybe not all of it, but in time you will keep it clean enough so that you can do this in 5 minutes or less)
- Load the dishwasher
These are just some examples. The point is to use your time wisely by first knowing how long the things you do all the time take, then fitting the other things around them.
Make a game of making things into 5 minute (or less) tasks. Then enjoy getting them done around other things.
Overcoming Overwhelm
Big tasks often give us overwhelm. Sometimes we just don’t know what to do or where to start and run away rather than deal with that feeling of being overwhelmed by the task at hand. Breaking large tasks down into smaller pieces can make it much more manageable. Often, all we have to do is get started to move forward.
One trick for this is to set a timer on undesirable projects. Example: You have to clean your room. You have broken it down to smaller bits, but even they overwhelm you. Take the easiest bit (let’s say its picking up the dirty clothes off the floor) and give yourself 15 minutes. No matter what, you only have 15 minutes. Set a timer. Promise yourself you will give your best for 15 minutes and get in there and pick up the clothes. I’ll bet you get it done in far less than 15 minutes and you will feel good about yourself. Maybe you can pick up the dirty dishes too. Not done in 15 minutes? Too bad. Stop and come back tomorrow or later today to complete it.
Continue on this way until either the job is done, or you are no longer overwhelmed by it and can bash ahead.
Margin
Another really important concept in time relations is margin (important in other areas of life too, but we will start with time).
Allow in your calendar for margin: time for the stuff life throws at you.
An example: I live near a train track. If I only allow for the 10 minutes I need to get places without any margin, I would always be in trouble if I need to cross the tracks and a train comes. STUFF HAPPENS- allow for it. This will reduce a lot of stress. Margin allows for needing to change clothes because you spilled your coffee or a shoelace breaking or traffic jams or trains. If in week 1 you were slowed by a train, then you know to add that time into your travel time- whether you need it or not. If you get there a little early, you can plan to do one of your 5 minute tasks.
Always plan to be places 10 minutes early.
Allow more if you don’t know the area into which you are going or the ease of parking, etc. It gives you margin, far less stress, and shows respect to the people in your life. Being on time says you respect them (and yourself) enough to plan to be on time.
If you have extra minutes, you can think about what you want to share or what you want to cover in a meeting. Being the first one at a meeting puts you in a position of authority. If you are waiting for someone in a position of power, it makes you look in control of yourself.
Reward yourself for good margin by having a good book with you
that you only get to read when you have extra time due to being on time or early. Or you can spend the time to review your master to-do list to see what needs to be done (or get it done if you have the time and are able to do it while waiting).
Want to learn more about Margin?
This is the book where I learned this concept. The principles are true regardless of your spiritual perspective Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives
Managing Time: How Long Things Take
Managing time starts with knowing how long things take to accomplish. The easiest way to know what you do and how long it takes to do it is to keep a log for a week. Write down everything you do and how long it takes you. There is no right amount of time. Be real. For example, my son needs 20 minutes to wake up whereas I can hit the ground running. Neither is right or wrong, it’s just the way it is. He has to take that 20 minutes into account when planning his morning or his day will get off on the wrong foot or late, or both.
Being late all the time is often a product of not being realistic about how long things take. I am sure I am not the only one who had it in my head that things took less time than they really do and was always running late. But another reason to know how long tasks take is so you can actually get more done.
Think of it like a puzzle. If you know how long things take, you can fit it into a time slot that size. Emptying the dishwasher takes the same time as my water kettle takes to heat, so I can do that while I am waiting for my tea water in the morning.
After a while, you will know from experience how long things really take. Then you can fit the puzzle pieces together more effectively.
Use a Weekly Calendar
Download this weekly calendar.
Week 1: Just record your times. There is no correct amount of time. Be real. If you forget, pick up again when you remember. If you forget to record your times a lot, it may take a couple of weeks to get a good idea of how long things really take. Also notice where things look longer than you expected and why.
Keep track of everything you do for a whole week because the time to do things may vary for many reasons, including procrastination. Keeping the calendar and using it will help you eliminate a lot of procrastination if you are honest with yourself about how you are spending (or wasting) time.
Week 2: Start with a new copy and put your set time commitments on it- like work or meetings, classes or groups that have a set time and are not movable. Don’t forget to include travel or preparation time. Put the time you get up and go to bed. Include time to clean up each day and time to unwind at night before going to sleep. Include meal prep, eating and clean up.
Now, add the things you WANT to do. (Is it getting full yet?) Put these in pencil so if something comes up, you can move them around. Adjust the week as necessary, but do not remove the necessary things. (Of course, you may use a computer to do this.)
Why Use a Calendar?
Using a calendar helps you develop the practice of thinking of time as the measurable thing that it is. Managing time means being aware of how you are spending it.
Remember, time is a commodity, but you only get so much. A calendar will help you stay on point to get things done that you want (or need) to accomplish.
Think of the calendar as a time budget. You can’t spend what you don’t have. You may need to move a study time to go out with friends, but you have to move that study time to somewhere else on the calendar. If you are out of time for the week to be with friends, you don’t have time to go out. You can’t spend (time) that you don’t have.
In the post, Planning to Get Things Done, I will talk about making the calendar work for you to get things done, so you are managing time, not just spending it.
Love Languages
Showing another person you love them can sometimes not go the way we hope it will. Sometimes that’s because we are expressing our affection in a different way (or love language) than the way that person experiences or FEELS loved.
Learning About Love Languages
In his great book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts, Gary Chapman explains that there are 5 love languages and what makes each of us FEEL loved may be different than what makes the people we care about feel loved. It helps to know, and communicate, to those near to you, your love language and to find out what their love language is and love them using it. The five love languages are:
- Touch. This isn’t sexual touch. This is holding hands, stroking hair, arm around the shoulder, cuddling.
- Words of Affirmation This would be saying complimentary, supportive and loving things, like, “you look really nice”, “I know you’ll do a great job”, “I am glad you are in my life”.
- Quality Time. Taking the time to be with the person.
- Gifts. We all like gifts, but for some people this really an important way to feel loved.
- Acts of Service. Yes, some people feel loved if you take out the trash or shovel the driveway.
I find most people have more than one love language, usually a primary and secondary. Do you know what yours are? How about loving yourself today by figuring out your primary (and secondary, if you have one) love language.
What’s Your Love Language? What About the People You Love?
A great gift for Valentine’s Day would be to spend some time thinking about one or two people in your life and see if you can figure out what their love languages are, and then love them using their language. If you are not sure, why not have a conversation about it? Just the fact that you are asking shows that you care. Knowing someone’s love language will make it easier to communicate your affection for them in a way that makes them FEEL loved and cared about. At the same time, you can communicate to them your love language so they can more easily make you feel loved.
Happy Valentine’s Day,
Transaction Costs: Saving Time and Money
If you have never heard the term transaction costs, then you are probably spending way too much on purchases.
Budgeting of time or money means getting the most bang for the buck (or hour) and being aware of transaction costs will help make better use of time AND money (because time is money).
Concept 1. Your time has value
Do you think of your time as having a monetary value? You do when you take a job. You agree to a certain salary and are saying to your employer that your time (and effort and knowledge) has a value of so many dollars an hour.
Do you ever think of that hourly amount when doing errands or spending time with friends?
A little planning can get you where you need to be, when you want or need to be there. This can save time and aggravation (remember: time=money).
Concept 2. Every purchase or errand has a transaction cost
Transaction cost does not just include your time. It also includes anything it costs you to make that purchase such as gas or parking.
It also includes the energy you use to make the purchase.
Concept 3. Consider Time, Money, and Energy for most purchases
In making a purchase consider the cost of the item, the time and the energy it will take to get it. Ask yourself if there are other errands you can do at the same time, can you wait, is there an easier way to buy it?
Also consider in transaction cost if you tend to buy things you really don’t need at the same time? Sometimes this is the biggest transaction cost.
I don’t like to shop- at all, and find that buying on Amazon is great for me. I have Amazon Prime and purchase a lot there, so the transaction cost (shipping) is minimal. But if purchasing shoes from a new brand, with my sensitive feet it is sometimes easier to shop in a store to get the right fit rather than having to return shoes via post or parcel service.
Concept 4. Don’t forget entertainment or aggravation factors are transaction costs, too
If you like to shop and find it fun to go from store to store to find what you’re looking for (entertainment), or find shopping the worst kind of hell (aggravation), then take that into the equation, too.
Concept 5. Transaction costs can be applied to other areas
Do you have work that needs to be done around your home? IF you make $40/hour and it takes you an hour to mow the lawn plus the cost of lawn material stickers for clippings pick up (and you really hate doing it), you might be better off having a service do it for $25. This only works if you can actually be making $40 instead of mowing or if you have disposable income.
If you don’t enjoy someone’s company (high aggravation factor), do you really want to have dinner with them?
Free time has the most value since, for most of us, there is never enough of it. Consider what will give the highest value to that time, at the least transactional cost.
This rule also applies to activities. If going to dinner and a movie, find out beforehand when the movie is, and plan dinner around it to minimize transaction cost.
Putting it into practice:
Group errands to do together. Do them on the way somewhere.
Consider your options before making the purchase or making plans. Take time, money and energy (and entertainment and/ or aggravation factors) into account. Can you reduce the number of trips to the store by buying 2 of something?
Two Great books on money management
The Savage Truth on Money
The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke