LifeSkill Secrets

Joyfully Manage Your Life, Your Self and Your Stuff

Life Management

Life Management

Life Management is about how you manage your relationship with the Universe, Time, Money, Others, and Work. None of these do you ever really control. You have control of yourself, but not the stuff the Universe will throw at you. Your footing needs to be centered around who you are as a person and how your move through your life, not the whimsy of your circumstances. You have the same number of hours as everyone else does in a day. You, like everyone else, have a limited amount of money and like most, have more that you want you buy or have than money to buy it.  Others are funny about wanting things their own way and most of your life will be in community. And you will spend more time at work than doing just about anything, so it would be good to have a good relationship with it. MOM is here to help with your Life Management!

The Value of Shopping Lists

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I am a big fan of all kinds of lists, but shopping lists are the ones I couldn’t do without.
The trick to using them is always to put an item on the list as soon as you start running low. There are some things you just don’t ever want to be without so its a good idea to keep extra(s) on hand (such as deodorant, toothpaste and toilet paper). Those things go on the list when you open the last backup. This saves you from running out at an inconvenient time.

I like to use paper- a magnetized shopping list on the fridge. That way everyone has access to lit and can write things down. If you only shop for yourself or prefer it, you can always create a list on your phone. That way you cant forget it at home.

Saving Time

It wastes a lot of time to have to run to the store for one or two items. Cutting down on going to the store until you have a decent shopping list makes the best use of your time. If you have a nice list, you also save time by going straight for what you need and then getting out of the store, rather than wandering aimlessly trying to think what you might need (or impulsively want).

Saving Money

Using shopping lists saves you money because you go to get what you need, not what catches your eye as you browse through the store. Once you get into the habit, you know what things you use regularly and can buy several when they are on sale. If you read store ads, it can also remind you what things you may want to pick up because they are on sale, saving you even more money.

Putting an item on the shopping list also lets you think about it a bit to be sure you really need it. You may rethink the item and save yourself even more. You also can research where to get the best deal on a bigger ticket item. However, remember there is a cost in time, money and energy for every store you visit, so take that into account when planning your trip. Be sure its actually worth it in all areas before you add a store to your shopping trip to save money on one or two items.

Saving Energy

Time, money and energy are the big 3 resources. Shopping can be exhausting, especially if you do it more than you have to. Many people don’t enjoy grocery shopping or shopping for household and toiletry items. Shopping lists aid you in making the most of the of time, money and energy you do expend to get your necessities purchased. Why make more work for yourself?

Holiday shopping lists are a great idea because you know for whom you need to buy a gift, ideas of what you want to get and what you have budgeted for the purchase. (You may want to read about the financial aspect of gift giving in this post.) Make your holiday list at the beginning of June and keep it with you. That way, those gifts can be in your mind when you are doing other shopping. You can be thinking about what to get the people you don’t have ideas for, and can look for and purchase the items you know you want to get. This helps spread the cost over time and removes the stress of the last minute hustle. You can start getting the gifts early so you are not getting gouged, run over or picking from what’s left over in December.

Happy shopping!

How to be a good employee

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Some of the rules for being a good employee are the same as preparing for a job interview. Start as you mean to go on. Care about your employer and your contribution to the company and you are on the path to being a good employee.

A good employee is on time, in good working order and there every day

In most companies, start and end times, lunch and break periods and workdays are not guidelines, but rules. And they apply to you.
Eight to five does not mean eight-ish to five-ish with an hour-ish for lunch or skip lunch and leave at four.

Be in a condition to work: not tired, hung over or preoccupied. Check you cell phone only on breaks or lunch period. Your employers is not paying you to check your personal email or text on your cell phone.

Dress appropriately for the job

If the company has an employee handbook, check it for dress guidance. If they don’t have on or you are unsure, ask someone in the Human Resources (HR) department, or if you must, your direct boss. In case of doubt, dress better than you expect you will have to until you get the lay of the land. If you are unsure if something is OK, ask rather than assume that its OK, even if you see it on another employee (who may be the owner or the owner’s son and able to get away with it).

Listen rather than speak

This is a huge deal. We all like to show how much we know, but in this case, you don’t know the people, their culture or way of doing things yet. You could accidentally correct, comment on or insult the exact wrong person without even knowing it. Listening helps with the following really important guidelines for you to be successful in any new endeavor:

  • Learn where the power is

    My Mom taught me this when I was young but it took years for me to catch on to how important this is. In any unfamiliar situation this is an important guideline to follow. Often the most powerful person in a room is the quietest one. Often the one with the title does not have the power. Often the person with the power to fire or promote you is not your boss. A good employee listens and watches and learns all the time, but especially at the beginning.

  • Learn the rules

    Learn what the rules (written and spoken as well as unspoken) are. Read and understand the employee handbook. Follow the policies, especially those for sick days, calling in sick, working from home, asking for time off (none of which you will do right away, right?). If there is not employee handbook, ask to sit down with your supervisor “because you want to be sure you understand the rules”. When it comes to work, asking for forgiveness is NOT better than asking for permission.

Be nice to everyone and don’t “take sides”

As much as possible, try to get along with everyone. The people lower than you on the org chart may be the ones who make your job terrific or hell. Don’t believe me? Ask any waiter or waitress how important it is to keep the bus help happy.
Really endeavor not to take sides or join a clique. Try to remain neutral in disagreement. You can have an opinion, but don’t make disagreements personal or ugly. This isn’t just about being a good employee, this is about being a nice person.

Go the extra mile, give the extra 10%

Millennials get a rap that they don’t know the meaning of work. If you want to succeed and stand out, give a good day’s work. Give extra. Try harder. Bosses appreciate it (and promote because of the initiative). Don’t just work more. Find ways to get work done better and more efficiently. Find ways of saving the company money. Act as if it’s your time, money and assets and use your mind to find better ways to protect company resources.

Ask questions, take notes and show interest

Being a good employee means being curious and showing interest. Ask the questions to which you need answers and find out who has the answers you need. But don’t stop there. Take notes of answers so you don’t have to ask the question again. If someone explains something you dont need today, you may need it next week. So if you’ve taken notes on it, you will be prepared.

Don’t evaluate the job for yourself until you have been there at least a month. Every job has a learning curve and the more complex the job, the longer and harder the learning curve. Just expect the first month (at least) to be hard.

Job Interview Preparation

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Be Prepared

Job interview preparation goes beyond showing up. Preparation includes knowing something about the company, those who are interviewing you and the copmpany culture. It also includes having a list of well thought out questions about the job for which you are applying. Companies and employers are not in business for the purpose of giving you money or training. They are in business to make money and being prepared is about showing them what you bring to the company to help them succeed.

Check out the company

Learn everything you can about the company, and if you will be working in a particular location or branch, about that one. Find out where they are, what is special/unique about them, what their focus is, and as much s you can about the company culture (is it young and hip, or conservative and old-school)?

Know with whom you are meeting

Find out with whom you will be meeting and find out everything you can about them on LinkedIn and Facebook. What is their title and how long have they been with the company? What other positions have they held? To whom do they report? Find out about them personally too. You may have some things in common. Where did they go to school? What other interests do they have?

Its good to know what they look like so when you meet them, you will recognize who is whom.

Have answers to these questions

There are many questions an employer will ask you and many will be dependent on the job for which you are applying. For good job interview preparation, try to imagine any question they may ask and be sure you have a good answer- especially for the questions that will be difficult, such as explaining what you were doing for the three yours you were in the pen.

The following questions you need to have good answers for and be ready to get the answers into the conversation even if they aren’t asked:

  • What do you bring to the table
  • Why you want to work for THIS company
  • Why should they hire you over other candidates for the job

They may also ask what are your 1 year,  5 year,  and long-term career goals. It’s good to know the answer to these questions to be sure in your own mind that this job opportunity takes you toward the goals, not away from them.

Create a list of questions about the job

Be sure you have a clear job description. Problems with job expectations (yours or the boss’s) always start with a poorly drawn job description.

Job interview preparation works two ways and employers need to prepare too. Ask any questions/concerns you may have about the job description, to whom you will report, what are normal expectations about hours and production, when you would begin. Also, find out if there is a training period and who will be your mentor /trainer as you learn the job.

Ask them how they would define a successful employee in this role.

All these questions show them that you take the position and your place in the company seriously.

Dress Appropriately

A job interview is not the same as working there. Always dress for a job interview better than you would for the job. Better that they tell you you can dress down for the job, than not consider you because you are under dressed. This means dress as a professional, not like its casual anyday.

Job Interview Preparation includes Being on time

Do a dry run of getting to the job if at all possible. With Google maps, be sure you know what the building looks like. If the time gives a range of 25-40 minutes, allow 40. Better you have to stall at a coffee shop or store or sit in your car for 15 minutes than they have to wait for you for even one.

Allow at least ½ hour extra time to get ready and ½ hour extra to get there for all the things that can go wrong.

Pay Attention to your Gut

I understand how important getting a job is, but as I told my son, they will never treat you better than the first time they meet you. If they treat you poorly before, during or after the interview, think long and hard about the job. I have ignored this a couple of times to get a job and regretted it. I have never heard of anyone not regretting going against a gut instinct that its a bad fit.

Having said that . . .

Be Respectful and Considerate of the Employer

Email or mail a thank you note thanking the people you interviewed with for their time. It shows you were serious about wanting the job and you have good manners.
If you are made an offer, don’t stall getting back with an answer. If you agree to take the job, there is no excuse for not showing up. If you must change your mind, let them know as soon as possible and with as much time before the start date as you can to allow them to try to find someone else.

Once you take the job, know the rules about notice to leave and follow them. More about on-the-job in the next post.

Happy job hunting!

Finding the Right Volunteer Opportunity

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Volunteering is a wonderful way to meet new people, contribute to the well-being of others and even find a new career path. It can be very rewarding, not only for the people you serve, but for you yourself. To find a really good volunteer opportunity, there are a few things to think about as you start your search.

What Do You Really Care About?

What moves you emotionally? There are ways to serve everything from abandoned pets to victims of human trafficking. What do you see as wrong in the world that you want to help? What is good in the world that you want to support?

Once you know what things move you to action or make your heart sing, there are many volunteer placement organizations for serving domestically and abroad, long and short term. Or you cant try just Googling your interest and where you want to serve, such as “volunteer with Pets Chicago”. You might also call your favorite organizations, your kids’ schools or your church and ask if they have any volunteer opportunities that might be a good fit.

What Do You Have to Offer?

There are many ways to volunteer and they are not all created equal. Volunteering is much more satisfying if it works to your strengths and gifts. If it costs too much in time, money or energy, you wont want to keep at it. Think about the real answer to the following when evaluating each volunteer opportunity

Does it require talents or gifts I have

If you are a talented accountant and love what you do, you might be able to apply those talents to a volunteer opportunity. However, be sure that if you volunteer to do the same thing as you do in your normal work life that it wont get to be too much.

If it will teach you things you want to learn anyway, it might be a great way to learn something new and your interest level will be high. However, be sure they are OK that you are currently a novice. (They are not in business to be a school, but some placements don’t mind that you don’t already know how to so something. I was actually introduced to computers and taught my first programs in a volunteering opportunity. That’s where and how I fell in love with them. They actually paid someone to teach me!

Be sure it wont be too physically demanding (or sedentary) for you. If you don’t like children, don’t work with children. Same is true for animals.

How much people contact is there

If you are a people person and need to have a lot of people contact, or if you are volunteering to spend more time with people, be sure the volunteer opportunity gives you that.
If you prefer tasks over interaction, be sure your opportunity gives you what you need.

What are the time and other commitments

Volunteering takes time, but keep in mind, people are counting on you. If you say you are going to be there, you need to be there, on time. So it’s a good idea to evaluate the days and time the opportunity requires, as well as the time it will take you to get there and home. If you cant be there, let the organization know with as much notice as possible, to give them a chance to fill your spot or make other arrangements.

What about financial expectations? Is it expected that you will contribute goods or money as well as time? If you are volunteering services, it is clear whether the expectation is hours on the project or project completion?

What Do You Want to Get From It?

Be real. What do you hope to get from it? You may want to be with people, or interact with those you are serving. Maybe you really want to do a task and be alone, just knowing your are serving. But be clear on your expectations- at least with yourself, and with the person placing you in the volunteer opportunity. The happier you are, the more likely you are to continue serving in the role and the more you will bring to it.

I advocate for contributing to whatever group of which you are a part, whether its your school, community, country or humanity in general. Volunteering is the best way to do that. Find a great volunteer opportunity and enjoy being a part of the solution!

Buying Gifts: The Finance Aspect

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Buying gifts and giving them feels good. Its great to see the look in a friend or family member’s eyes when they open something they really like. But if that look is going to give you indigestion when the credit card bill comes, you spent too much. The financial aspect of gift giving is rarely discussed but as important as getting the perfect gift (which we will discuss in an upcoming post).

OK, so your girlfriend saw a piece of jewelry she absolutely loves and her birthday is coming. What do you do? Before you plop down your credit card in the heat of the moment and buy it for her, its good to think about three things:

How Much Can You Afford for Buying Gifts?

Money for buying gifts really should be in your budget, especially if you are someone who tends to be a gift giver. It would be something you put money aside for so you have it when you need it. This is especially true for the end-of-the-year holidays when most of us buy lots of gifts at one time. However, its a good idea to also put money aside for times when you might buy more expensive gifts like birthdays, anniversaries, and engagement rings. A good time for a guy to start saving for an engagement ring is as soon as he meets a girl he may want to spend the rest of his life with. The time to buy the engagement ring is when he has save enough to cover the cost of it.

If a gift is not (yet) in your budget, take a few minutes to determine how much disposable income you have. Disposable income is money that is not earmarked for necessary things like rent/mortgage, bills, insurance, food and so on. It’s the money you’d have left at the end of the month if your bought nothing extra. It could also be money you have saved, but not for something else.

How Much Does the Gift Cost?

This is always a consideration. Can you get it for a better price somewhere else? Is it the best quality for the money. I don’t mean you can never buy a gift on the spur of the moment, but be mindful of your disposable income. The cost of a gift is not just the price. It’s the price in relation to the want or need and the quality. Weigh how much something is really wanted and how much and how long it will provide joy relative to the cost and your ability to pay for it. This may sound heartless, but also evaluate how much it will be appreciated by the person receiving it. All other things being equal, why spend the money on someone who takes it for granted?

How Are You Going to Pay for It?

Sure. Pay for it by credit card if you can easily pay it off in total when the card comes. Points or cash back are good. However, if you choose to pay by credit card and can NOT pay it off in total, you are paying a LOT extra for the convenience. If you do use the card and can’t pay it right off, be sure you are prepared to pay the huge interest. Do it only if you know that you can pay it off within 3 months. If not, don’t get the gift.

Someone who wants you in debt isn’t your friend (or love). Anyone who likes or loves you based on what you give them isn’t worth your affection. Buying friends or lovers wont make you feel good about yourself, especially if you are still paying off a gift after the person is no longer in your life. Find something less expensive, but thoughtful instead.

 

Using Google

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OK. I totally admit that I am boggled at the number of people that don’t really use Google search. Yes, I am on the web for a living, but I was using Google search at least 10 years before I became a web developer. When my son was in high school having trouble getting a Calculus concept, I suggested he Google it, just to see what came up. There were all kinds of tutorials on the Calculus concept he was studying- with step by step explanations. Heck, I could have learned it without a teacher!

“I don’t need to know everything, I just need to know where to find it when I need it.”
– Albert Einstein

You can learn just about anything in the world on the internet. With a little practice, you will get insanely proficient at finding anything you need. Since LifeSkill Secrets is about empowering you, learning to Google for information is probably the easiest way to do it.

Basic Tips for Using Google

Here are some tips for putting a search into the Google search bar:

  1. Don’t worry about capitalization or spelling

    For example: Chocolate Cake Recipe is the same as chocolate cake recipe
    Google will check most common spelling s so will give you what you typed, but also what it thinks you may have meant to type.

  2. Type what you want to know about

    For example: Chocolate cake recipe

  3. Just type a question

    For example: How to fix a broken toilet

  4. Use quotes to search for an exact phrase

    This is the oldest and best known trick if you want exact information as it is in the quotes.
    For example: “Calculus differential equation tutorials”

  5. Use an asterisk within quotes if you are unsure of a word or there may be several variations

    Can’t remember the name of the equation that you are looking for? Replace the unknown word with an *. If it’s a quote, this is great if you can’t recall an exact word.
    For example: “Calculus * equations”

    Put the asterisk first to get all the variations of a phrase.
    For example: “*Love is” gives the results: Love is blind, love is a bitch, love is quotes, love is kind, love is mighty, etc.

  6. Use the minus sign to eliminate results containing certain words

    For example: “Calculus * equations -quadratic”
    This will give you all the results for Calculus equations EXCEPT for quadratic equations

  7. Looking for pictures?

    Just add images before or after whatever you want to see images of. Keep in mind though that most images on the web are copyrighted and cannot be used without permission.
    For example: tiger images Result shows many images and a “more images for tiger” link

Googling is fun. look up people, look up yourself, look up things you want to know or things you want to buy. Google an address to get a map and directions. Isn’t Googling fun? The more you do it, the better you will get at wording your search to get close to what you want the first time out. Sometimes you don’t. Add a more specific term if you get too many hits, or remove some if you get too few. Searching for someone from your childhood is good practice. Have fun!