Cherish Yourself

For me, the idea of loving myself has always been difficult. The idea of loving myself seemed narcissistic, self-centered and self-absorbed but the more I avoided the idea of self love, the further I grew from the reality.

While talking with a friend recently I discovered I am not the only one who feels that way. Maybe our cultural ethic of putting others first has had its way with us.

The Great Commandment

Many Christians mistakenly think that self love goes against Christian values. On the contrary, self love is pivotal to the second part of the Great Commandment (below from Mark)

“Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

Matthew (Matt 22:37-39), Mark (Mark 12:30-31), and Luke (Luke 10:25-28)

However, the two lines Jesus spoke were originally from the Old Testament, the Torah (Deut 6:4-5 and Lev 19:17-18).

From a Biblical perspective, we are to love God first, and love our neighbors as ourselves, which means we first must love ourselves to have a guide as to how to treat our neighbors.

I still had trouble with the idea of self love even knowing that it was biblically alright to do so.

One day I was wishing that each of my three sons (my son by birth and two by other mothers who I also care deeply about) knew how much I cherish them. That’s when it occurred to me that cherishing someone is more tender, caring, intentional, deep and nurturing than just loving. At least as far as the way we use the words love and cherish now.

Cherish – the Word

Cherish means to protect and care for (someone) lovingly, to hold dear and to keep close in one’s mind. (https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBH_enUS805US805&q=Dictionary#dobs=cherish)

I personally get a softer, closer, more intimate feeling when I think of cherishing. I also realized it’s the way I want to be treated and I think the way we all want to be treated. When we cherish someone, they have no doubt about how important they are to the joy in our world. They are treasured and valued. We wouldn’t hurt them, emotionally or physically. We would encourage and lift them up. We’d have their six at all times and not let others speak ill of them or do harm to them. That isn’t always the case these days where someone can say they love you, then betray you or hurt you. You would not do that to someone you cherish.

Cherishing Myself

So I thought about it and decided I could cherish myself. Of course, it would mean some changes would have to happen. I’d have to extend myself some grace. There could be no more shaming or name calling, only encouragement and rewards. I would need to pay attention to what (and who) was nurturing and what (and who) was not, and defiantly protect myself from people who do not bring joy into my life. Gentle introspection would help me find what filled me and what drained me and where my joy could run freely. I would need to build into my life time for soul enrichment and self care.

Funny thing I learned as I have started thinking in these terms. Once I started putting in the work of listening to my own small voice, I became more attuned to the small voices of others. Not the louder outer voices, but the child voices underneath. The fearful, raw, tender parts that need cherishing too. When I felt cherished and nurtured, I had it to give.

So, here is my challenge for you. Are you ready to protect and care for yourself lovingly, to hold yourself dear and to keep yourself (and your best interest) close in your mind? Ready to extend yourself grace and encouragement? Will you treat yourself and your needs with respect and protect yourself from those who do not have your best interest at heart?