You and The Universe

Using Google

July 31, 2018 Leave a Comment
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OK. I totally admit that I am boggled at the number of people that don’t really use Google search. Yes, I am on the web for a living, but I was using Google search at least 10 years before I became a web developer. When my son was in high school having trouble getting a Calculus concept, I suggested he Google it, just to see what came up. There were all kinds of tutorials on the Calculus concept he was studying- with step by step explanations. Heck, I could have learned it without a teacher!

“I don’t need to know everything, I just need to know where to find it when I need it.”
– Albert Einstein

You can learn just about anything in the world on the internet. With a little practice, you will get insanely proficient at finding anything you need. Since LifeSkill Secrets is about empowering you, learning to Google for information is probably the easiest way to do it.

Basic Tips for Using Google

Here are some tips for putting a search into the Google search bar:

Don’t worry about capitalization or spelling

For example: Chocolate Cake Recipe is the same as chocolate cake recipe
Google will check most common spelling s so will give you what you typed, but also what it thinks you may have meant to type.
Type what you want to know about

For example: Chocolate cake recipe
Just type a question

For example: How to fix a broken toilet
Use quotes to search for an exact phrase

This is the oldest and best known trick if you want exact information as it is in the quotes.
For example: “Calculus differential equation tutorials”
Use an asterisk within quotes if you are unsure of a word or there may be several variations

Can’t remember the name of the equation that you are looking for? Replace the unknown word with an *. If it’s a quote, this is great if you can’t recall an exact word.
For example: “Calculus * equations”

Put the asterisk first to get all the variations of a phrase.
For example: “*Love is” gives the results: Love is blind, love is a bitch, love is quotes, love is kind, love is mighty, etc.
Use the minus sign to eliminate results containing certain words

For example: “Calculus * equations -quadratic”
This will give you all the results for Calculus equations EXCEPT for quadratic equations
Looking for pictures?

Just add images before or after whatever you want to see images of. Keep in mind though that most images on the web are copyrighted and cannot be used without permission.
For example: tiger images Result shows many images and a “more images for tiger” link

Googling is fun. look up people, look up yourself, look up things you want to know or things you want to buy. Google an address to get a map and directions. Isn’t Googling fun? The more you do it, the better you will get at wording your search to get close to what you want the first time out. Sometimes you don’t. Add a more specific term if you get too many hits, or remove some if you get too few. Searching for someone from your childhood is good practice. Have fun!

Character Development: What and Why and How

July 24, 2018 Leave a Comment
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Being a character isn’t the same as having character. What is character development and why would you care?

What is character?

Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us.
– Thomas Paine

Our character is who we are at the core of our being. It is what our most authentic self is made of and reflects how we relate to our self in the the world and with others. Character development is not a once and done thing, but a lifelong series of choices. Its about making the right choices as you come to crossroads in life. And one thing I have noticed is that the choices get harder as you go.

Here is an example: If you found something of $10 value, would you turn it in to the person that could get it back to the rightful owner? What if it was worth $100? How about one thousand dollars? 10,000 dollars? A hundred thousand?

Why care about character development?

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King is saying that what really matters is the content of one’s character. Character is the only thing that is ours alone and no one can take from us- it is the core of each of us. If you are a person of faith, you know this is the part of you that God will judge. When it really matters, we judge people on their character. A society is built on the collective character of its citizens

How do I develop character?

“An unexamined life is not worth living”
– Plato

Being a person of character requires attention to your SELF and monitoring that your character development is going in the right direction. A simple way to work on character is to focus on one character area for a couple of weeks. Pay close attention to how you are doing in that area. For example, are you being honest or are you not telling the truth by leaving things out (called lying by omission), or telling half truths, or white lies. Are there ways that you can tell the actual truth in a kind and compassionate way?

How is your politeness doing? Not just to your friends, but to the waiter at the restaurant who forgot your drink, or the mailcarrier who mis-delivered mail, or (and I admit, this my downfall), the driver doing 7 miles below the speed limit?

You might also review the image above on a daily or weekly basis and journal where you might have done better and in what area. You can right click on the image > save image as > save to your computer. No beating yourself up allowed. It’s a life-long process

Your Contribution to the World

July 3, 2018 Leave a Comment
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Fifty seven years ago, the incoming President told the nation, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” John Kennedy’s inaugural words reminded us if we had forgotten, and enlightened us if we did not know, what going through this life successfully is about. Its not just about you, but about your contribution to the world, your country, your community, your family. It’s about what you bring to the table. Fifty six years later we live in a more me-oriented society. We hear less about contribution and more about entitlement. Any group is great to the extent its individuals are willing to contribute their talents and passions to make it better.

You are blessed with a unique and special mix of talents and gifts. For the whole to survive, all of those gifts need to be engaged. For the whole to thrive, we must welcome and encourage the gifts of all. Your contribution to the world is just as important as anyone else’s. What will make America great is respect and support for the unique blend of gifts we each bring to the table.

Identifying Your Contribution to the Whole

You may not be aware of what your contribution to any particular group is meant to be. That is OK. What we bring changes in different seasons of life as we change, and also varies by the group of which we are a part. If you are unsure what your gifts are or the best way to use them, start by offering to help. Try different groups that are of interest to you and jump in. Do whatever is asked. Over time you will find where your contribution really has value because it both supports the organization, and is also fulfilling to you. Your contribution may not be your life’s passion, and doesn’t need to be. Contribution is its own reward. Knowing that you are a part of something bigger than yourself will make you feel good about yourself.

Think about your contribution to every group of which you are a part. Start with family and friends and move on to work and community. What do you contribute? What more can you add? How can your special talents and gifts make the group stronger or better? In case of doubt, ask. Asking shows you care about the organization as a whole, and also that you care that you are a contributor to its well being. Everyone loves a giver, and its a lot more rewarding.

Social Sharing

March 20, 2018 Leave a Comment
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This post on social sharing was suggested by a Dad, who had real concerns about the sharing his daughters did on social media.

Social Sharing isn’t just with your friends

People who aren’t your friends are on the internet.

Friends of friends

People (who may not be someone you want to know all about you) can also see what your friends see on their screens.

Predators can see everything about you too

No information on the web is really private. The web is the new lurking playground for predators. Don’t make it easy for them.

Do you talk about where you live and work and who your friends are?
Predators can use that information to stalk and hurt you.
They can use information on your social sharing account to make you think you know each other.
Thieves will burglarize your home while you are tweeting and messaging about the great restaurant you are in or talking about the fun vacation you are on.

Your family

Do you really want Aunt Millie to know you did THAT?
How will your Dad feel about the beer pong game that went on for 6 hours?
Isn’t your Mom already too much in your business?
Does your new boyfriend really need to see the last 6 guys you’ve dated?

Bosses and Schools (current and future) WILL check your social media

Get real. Bosses and schools regularly look into your social sharing accounts to get to know you better. Does your social profile paint a picture of someone that your desired school or employer would want?

Safety tips for Social Sharing

Be sure your settings are set to share all information with friends ONLY.
Think before you post (regardless of your settings): Is this safe for everyone to see? Would I walk around telling everyone this information?
Never share about upcoming travel or evenings out.
Share about vacations and time away from your home AFTER THE EVENT
In case of doubt: DON’T SHARE ONLINE- share in person. It’s better social sharing anyway.

Social sharing is a great way to stay in touch with friends and family when used wisely. Be safe.

Vision is Where You Start

January 2, 2018 Leave a Comment
All content copyright LifeSkill Secrets

If you start with a clear vision of what you want your life (or your appearance or your home) to look like, you will know what doesn’t fit with your vision and what does.

“How can you get there if you don’t know where there is?”

If I really wanted to get to Denver, but just started driving, you’d think me pretty silly for complaining if I ended up in Nashville. I need to know where I am going to be sure I get there, then take steps to figure out how.

Know where you are now

Whether or not you think this way, you are the center of your universe. For your life to work well, you need to take care of yourself. Your family, your friends, and others in general are not as important in determining the way your life will turn out and the path it will take as you are. Even God won’t give you what you need if you don’t ask.

So, you are responsible to take care of yourself. I know it sometimes seems scary, but actually it’s pretty liberating. The only challenge is knowing how to take care of yourself, and that is the purpose of this website.

It’s important to know where you are starting. Look at the different areas of your life and evaluate how you are doing, where you need it to improve and where you are right on the road to where you want to be.

The usual areas to look at are:

Physical
Relational
Vocational
Creative
Financial
Spiritual/ Emotional

Have a vision for your life: Start with the end in mind

Take time to know what it is you want to accomplish in each of these areas. It is very important to have a road map for where you want to be at the end of the year, in 5 years, in 20. This is a journey.

Pick the area or areas that are most important, or that the others are dependent on. When I first did this, everything depended on making more money. Pretty clear where I needed to start. Another place you may want to start is in an area that would be easy to accomplish. Starting there will give you self confidence and a belief in moving forward.

Don’t make yourself crazy by trying to do everything all at once. Focus big-time in one or two areas, or start making very small changes in more areas.

Put it on the calendar

A dream without a deadline is just a wish. A goal is just a dream with a deadline.

Decide on a date by which you want to have each dream accomplished and put it on the calendar.

Break down the steps necessary to accomplish your dream, determine how long it will take to do each step and then give each of them a date on the calendar. Simple, but not easy.

At the beginning, its best to practice by focusing on one or two dreams at a time.

Change is a Habit

It takes a month of daily change to break a habit, so be tough with yourself daily for at least a month. Stick with it. Remind yourself of your vision and what you want to accomplish.

Keep your vision in front of you

One of the best techniques I have learned to stay focused is based on the main one in the book, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.

Envision what you want- fully envision it. What would your life look like, smell like, taste like, and how would you emotionally feel if your vision were a reality?

Daily bring that vision as fully to mind as possible and recite:

By (this date)
I will have (or be)
I believe (what you want to achieve or receive) will happen (or come to me).
My faith is so strong that I can see or feel myself doing (what would you be doing or feeling if this vision were true).
This will come into my life in exchange for (nothing is free- what are you going to give or exchange to have this become a reality).
I am waiting for a plan to come to me and I will act on it as soon as I receive it.

Reward Yourself

We all work better with rewards, so spend some time thinking of rewards to give yourself- not just when you complete your goal (because that sort of is its own reward), but at milestones along the way to keep you going.

Give Yourself Grace

If we were perfect, none of us would need any help at all. We are not starting perfect, we will not end perfect and we certainly wont be perfect as we strive to improve. You are working to improve your life so give yourself high-fives for that!

Be as loving to yourself as you would want Mom to be if you didn’t do as well as you wanted. Encourage yourself, focus on what is going right and stay positive. Give yourself grace, patience and understanding and determine to start again tomorrow.

Sign up to get the LifeSkill Secrets newsletter to keep the encouragement and new ideas coming to care for yourself and become a joyfully independent adult.

Why Gratitude?

November 21, 2017 Leave a Comment
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Joy in life comes not from what you have, what happens to you or how you are treated. It comes from appreciating what you have- having gratitude for it. Would you want to give a gift to a child who never likes what you give them? After a while, you would stop trying to delight them, then you would not care if the gift was on time, or wrapped, or even nice. You might want to give them something nasty just out of spite. Expecting the universe, or God, to give you good gifts if you are not grateful for the gifts you have, is behaving like the ungrateful child.

Gratitude is the Opposite of Entitlement

Few of us would want to think of ourselves as behaving entitled (as if the universe owes us), but lack of gratitude comes from a sense of entitlement. Frankly, no one deserves anything. Everything we get is a gift. Those of us who are lucky enough to be born in America need to realize that we didn’t engineer the circumstances of our birth. Whether born wealthy or not, we are lucky just to be born here. Think how many people sacrifice everything just to come to this country.

Why are the Poorest Often the Most Joy Filled?

It has been my observation over the years that one often finds the greatest joy in the poorest parts of the world. In those places, the people know that all good things are gifts and take joy in them. They appreciate things we so easily take for granted like clean water, food, a roof over our heads where we can sleep knowing we wont be attacked in the night. We can go to school or work and usually be safe getting there and getting home. We have choices. When was the last time you were grateful for the ability to make a bad choice, rather than kicking yourself that you chose wrong?

You Get What You Focus On

Have you ever noticed how a new word pops up everywhere after you learn it? I went through a training a few years ago that asked me to look for Sunset Beige cars. I didn’t even know what Sunset Beige was. Had to look it up on the internet. The instructor was correct- suddenly Sunset Beige cars were everywhere. Surprisingly, my son and I still laugh together when we see one-after 4 years!

If you focus on the blessings, love and joy in your life, you will get more blessings, love and joy. Conversely focusing on lack, slights and sorrow will bring you more of those. I sat down once to write a list of the things for which I was thankful, thinking I might come up with a few, and several pages full of columns of people and blessings later, I realized how much I really did have to be thankful for.

There is Always a Reason to Have Gratitude

If you start with gratitude for any day you are alive, then you have something to be grateful for every day.

Regardless of what happens to us in life, we can choose what we focus on. We can focus on the kick in the pants, or consider it a great excuse to get new pants. I don’t want to sound like its always easy, but it is doable.

We love movies and books about people who rise above horrible circumstances to live a full life. Its inspiring not because it’s easy, but because they did it. None of us wants to watch a movie about someone who gives in to depression, alcohol or drugs. Yet for all of us, we are dealing with the option to give in or rise above all the time. It’s just less obvious. Most survivors say they started by focusing on what they did have, rather than their loss. Focus on what’s in the glass, not what isn’t.

Creating a Habit of Gratitude

I’ll be honest. I struggled with the semantics of the word gratitude. In the beginning of my quest to be more grateful, I found it easier to think in terms of what I appreciated. I appreciated a beautiful sunset. I could appreciate a pain-free day. Once I had eased in to the idea of appreciating things, it was easy to become grateful for those same things.

Start the day with 3 things about the day for which you know you are or will be grateful.

It could be that you are able to be educated, or have a job or chose what you want to do with your life. Perhaps you are grateful for the opportunity to make a presentation or meet with a new potential client, or work with someone you admire. Maybe it’s just that you can try out new ways to get along with a difficult coworker or do a favor for someone who needs it. What are you looking forward to that is happening today? You are probably grateful for something about it if you are looking forward to it. You can be grateful that you are thinking about gratitude in a new way.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself 3 things for which you are grateful today.

End the day with 3 things about the day for which you are grateful.

Sometimes we are so focused on getting a certain thing that we don’t see the gifts we DO get. However, if we are focused on the gifts we receive, we will see them all. What happened today that surprised you? What was better than expected? See any Sunset Beige cars?

So what were the gifts you received today?

Make a habit o starting and ending your day in gratitude. If you know you will have to have 3 by the end of the day, you will be looking for things about which to feel grateful. Pretty soon you will find gratitude everywhere and throughout your day. Like Sunset Beige cars.

Today, right now, I am grateful for you reading this. Go out and find and create joy!