We all know someone who is truly excellent at giving good gifts. The art of doing it is a little more challenging, but really makes sense. Like most things in life, all we have to do is analyse why the good gift givers gifts are good gifts and reverse engineer the process. What were the best gifts you ever got and why were they so great?
Know the Dates for Giving Gifts
Gifts on the right date are better!
I know that planning ahead is not easy for many of us, but let’s face it: We know that in December there are gift-giving holidays (OK, Chanukkah can come as early as November 27th), Mother’s Day is in May and Father’s Day is in June. There really is no reason for these to be a surprise. Birthdays and Anniversaries are different for everyone so require a bit more thought.
It is always good to use a scheduling program or app. Put them on your calendar with a yearly recurrence (monthly if you are in a serious new relationship in which the other person expects you to remember monthly) and a reminder two weeks or more (6 weeks is good for the December holidays) out to remind (or warn) yourself that it is coming.
Plan Ahead for Good Gifts
People can often tell when a gift was purchased at the last minute.
Once you have the date on the calendar, you can use the entry to list gift ideas as they come. You may know people who have all their December gifts ready in November. They plan ahead by putting it on the calendar.
If you plan ahead, you can get the benefit of sales (Black Friday, Cyber Monday), and allow enough time for shipping.
For the national holidays, create a list of those for whom you want to get gifts, and put ideas of good gifts for each one.
Consider the Cost
Only gold diggers want you to spend money you can’t afford for a gift.
In the last post, I spoke about the financial aspect of gift giving so I wont go into that in length here. The long and short of it is, don’t buy gifts that you cant afford. That is not a gift to you or the receiver of the gift.
On your gift list for multi person holidays, evaluate the list in terms of your budget for the holiday. Adjust the people and the gifts as need to stay within your budget. If you have a big heart, it may cost you more than you can afford. Be practical using the guidelines in the previous post.
In addition, weight where you are in the relationship when buying gifts within a relationship. For example, it doesn’t make sense to buy an expensive gift for someone you just started dating. You are setting the bar too high. That expense will then become the expected minimum for future gifts. If the receiver spends a lot less on you, your extravagance may make them feel uncomfortable or pressured.
By the way, do not discuss the cost of the gift.
Pay Attention to the Recipient’s Desires
Good gifts are things we want, even if we didn’t know it until we got the gift.
Listen. Listen Listen. If you are planning ahead by being aware of an upcoming gifting opportunity, it allows you to pay attention to clues and cues about the receiver’s like and desires. This will give you ideas about what might be appropriate. Why buy a hat for someone who really hates hats? Gloves would be great if they mention they only have one pair or don’t have dress gloves and you know they will need them for an upcoming dinner.
Also pay attention to how the receiver feels about gifts. Maybe they prefer one large over several small. Maybe they prefer lots of beautifully wrapped small gifts.
Get Creative
We all like gifts that look like the giver thought about us specifically when getting the gift.
Think about the interests of the person and buy something related to things they are currently interested in. An example: I received a children’s book in French when I took French in high school. I loved it.
Also, you don’t have to spend lots to mean a lot. Write a love note and put it in a pretty jar, or buy something fun and attach a funny note. Create something by hand or give a service (baking, babysitting, lawn mowing, cleaning the garage).
Remember Presentation
Good gifts look nice.
Wrap the gift. You can find many ways to do this on the cheap, or spend a bit extra and make it look really lovely. IF you are all thumbs, there are services that wrap gifts, or have the retailer do it. Don’t just stick it in a brown bag and hand it to them. Half the fun in a gift is unwrapping and let’s be honest: Most of us love to tear off wrapping paper.
Remember the Forgotten
The unexpected gift is the best.
When getting ready for the national holidays, remember those who might fall through the cracks. I mean the elderly, singles without a family support network, veterans and the ill. Sending a sweet note and a few cookies or small, beautifully wrapped gift can mean more than words can ever say.
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